Eleven days after his 8th round of chemo was supposed to begin, Justin finally started his 8th round on Tuesday, December 17th. His counts finally came up to 1.37, just above the required 1.0. We were admitted and chemo was started around 5 pm. With the exception of one brief bout of nausea around bedtime Tuesday night, Justin has been feeling great! His spirits have also been high, for the most part.
On admission day, Justin asked me who was coming to visit him this time around. I told him I didn't know if anyone was coming. What he said next broke my heart. He said, "It seems like nobody wants to come see me anymore." How was I to respond to that? It sort of took me by surprise, in a way. Justin has always been a bit of a loner. He often removed himself from being around people by heading off to his room to be alone. Now to hear that he felt this way was so difficult for me, as his Mom. I guess we have gotten into so much of a routine with hospital admissions that it never occurred to me that he would still want or need that, because I don't feel that I need it as much anymore. I was talking to one of the nurses about it and she told me that they see this sort of thing happen all the time. When a child is first diagnosed, there is such an outpouring of people at the hospital showing their love and support that it's almost overwhelming. Then it seems about six months later visitors are fewer and fewer. And we are now six months in.
I'm not writing about this to make anyone feel guilty. Please don't! It's just something for all of us to think about. It was a wake up call for me. I, his own mother, didn't realize how important this was to him so I don't expect anyone else to. We probably all know of someone who spends time in the hospital; whether it be a child, a parent or a grandparent, a friend or neighbour. We may think that they are getting a lot of visitors, or that we would be imposing somehow. I'm not suggesting we all ambush them in their hospital room, but something as simple as a quick call or a text to see if they are up for a visit may make their day. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, we shouldn't assume that because something has become routine that it's any less scary or lonely to go through. I thought that we, his parents, were enough. I was wrong. Justin wants his friends and family around him, especially when he is in the hospital. I suppose it makes his time there a little easier to bear.
It is now Thursday, December 19th and we are at home. One more round of chemo under our belts. We will continue to go for daily radiation, but we will be home for Christmas which is exactly where we want to be.
As I go forward from here, I will think about all of the children and their families who are not fortunate enough to spend Christmas at home this year. I will hold my loved ones a little closer. And I will thank God for the miracle of Jesus' birth and the gifts He has bestowed upon us.
I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas full of love, full of hope and full of miracles to come. May God bless us, every one.
No comments:
Post a Comment