Last week Justin completed chemo # 13. Physically, it was neither easier nor harder than previous treatments but it was different. Justin had a room mate for the first time. Though he was a nice enough boy about Justin's age, it wasn't ideal. Going through chemotherapy is not something easily shared with strangers. It is such a personal, private experience. It strips you bare, leaving you vulnerable and exposed. You are literally at your worst and having to endure this while in the company of strangers seems wrong. Shortly after his chemo was started, Justin curled up in his blankets and told me he just wanted to sleep through the whole thing. My heart ached for him because normally we have 'moments' during his treatments where he opens up to me, spilling all of his emotions about the whole miserable process that is chemotherapy. He rages and rails against it, wishing it to be over so he can just be back at home. It is raw and it is real. It's sort of therapeutic, in a way. Instead, he lay there silently. With a stranger in the room, perhaps he felt he had to keep it all inside for fear of judgement. We have been so fortunate that up until now, we had never had to share a room. I hope and pray that we will have a private room for his last chemo.
It is the final countdown! We are exactly two weeks away from the scheduled start date of Justin's 14th and final chemotherapy treatment on April 29th. He will also have radiation again, within the next few weeks after chemo, to both lungs to be sure whatever was once there is gone. When we first heard the words, "Your son has cancer", I couldn't imagine ever getting to this place in time. Time seemed to stand still and the end seemed so far away. Well, now it's here and with this end comes a new beginning. The beginning of a new life for Justin. He will now be a cancer survivor because he believes that he has beat this. We believe he has beat this. He has been such an inspiration to me throughout this whole journey. Who would have thought that I could learn so much from my own child? He has taught me to have faith, which is something I have often struggled with. He has taught me to be strong when I would have liked to curl up into a little ball and disappear. He has taught me that he can endure so much more than we, even he, thought he was capable of. He was just saying the other day that he is weak; a wuss - has been most of his life. I was incredulous! I reminded him that anyone who has been through what he has for the past ten months is anything but a wuss! He has matured and evolved into a strong, brave, confident young man who has refused to let this stand in his way. He has plans for the future and is taking steps to make those dreams come true. I cannot even express how proud I am of him and how much my heart is bursting with love for him. One thing this experience has taught me is that no matter what you believe you know about your children, they will surprise you. I look forward to many more surprises from Justin in the years to come.
Tuesday 15 April 2014
Thursday 3 April 2014
Viva Las Vegas!
Thankfully, Justin was able to have chemo #12 as scheduled on March 18th and as a result, we were off to Las Vegas for a much needed break on March 26th. We all had a wonderful time and soaked up as much sun and warm weather that we could in the five days we were there, hoping to store up enough to last until spring comes to Manitoba!
Our family watches a lot of the reality shows that are set in Vegas; such as Pawn Stars, American Restoration and Counting Cars, to name a few. Trevor had previously emailed these establishments explaining Justin's situation and asking if it would be possible to meet some of the stars. Fortunately, Pawn Stars got back to him and were willing to set up a behind the scenes tour and a quick meet and greet with some of the guys. The twins didn't know that this was planned, so it would be a great surprise for them! The day before our trip, their PR person called and said that we should come straight from the airport on Wednesday if possible.
We landed in Las Vegas around 11 am, went to the hotel to drop off our bags and then we were off to Gold and Silver Pawn. On our way there, we explained to the boys that we wouldn't have to wait in line and would get to meet some of the guys. They were so excited!
We were greeted at the door by Laura (the PR person) who introduced us to Head of Security and our tour guide, Andy. What an awesome guy! He allowed the boys to wear a $100,000 Super Bowl ring and we were taken into the back warehouse and the fenced-in parking lot where the Harrisons and Chumlee park their personal cars. As we were walking through the warehouse, Rick walked by and stopped to say hello and pose for a picture with us. How cool was that! Cory and Chumlee were also kind enough to stop for a picture and a quick hello. We were also shown the "Old Man's" office and the boys were allowed to sit in his chair. Unfortunately, Richard Sr. was already gone for the day so we weren't able to meet him.
One of our favourite things to do was walk The Strip; people watching and taking in all of the grandeur of the hotels and casinos. We walked for miles and miles every day marvelling at the extravagance of it all. We also toured Hoover Dam, took in a Cirque du Soleil show and visited Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. One day, Trevor and the boys rode the roller coaster at New York New York over and over again while I wandered the shops. The twins were constantly smiling and in awe of it all. It warmed my heart to see the boys so happy and enjoying life in this fantasy land. It truly was the perfect break in the routine of cancer treatments and the monotony of this long, frigid winter. Now summer won't seem so far away and Italy will be right around the corner.
Chemo #13 is scheduled for next Tuesday, April 8th. Justin's second last treatment. The end is so close now I can see it! I can feel the excitement building inside me; looking forward to a summer with no chemo treatments, no central line care to worry about, no more shots to boost neutrophils. I am cautiously optimistic that this is it; the end of living with cancer in our house. That all of these chemo treatments have done their intended job and destroyed every single cancer cell in Justin's body. That he will live a long, healthy life with no short or long-term effects from the chemo. I, and many others, have been praying for these very things for the last nine months. It has to be so.
The $100,000 Super Bowl ring
Rick Harrison - Pawn Stars
Chumlee - Pawn Stars
Corey - Pawn Stars
Our family watches a lot of the reality shows that are set in Vegas; such as Pawn Stars, American Restoration and Counting Cars, to name a few. Trevor had previously emailed these establishments explaining Justin's situation and asking if it would be possible to meet some of the stars. Fortunately, Pawn Stars got back to him and were willing to set up a behind the scenes tour and a quick meet and greet with some of the guys. The twins didn't know that this was planned, so it would be a great surprise for them! The day before our trip, their PR person called and said that we should come straight from the airport on Wednesday if possible.
We landed in Las Vegas around 11 am, went to the hotel to drop off our bags and then we were off to Gold and Silver Pawn. On our way there, we explained to the boys that we wouldn't have to wait in line and would get to meet some of the guys. They were so excited!
We were greeted at the door by Laura (the PR person) who introduced us to Head of Security and our tour guide, Andy. What an awesome guy! He allowed the boys to wear a $100,000 Super Bowl ring and we were taken into the back warehouse and the fenced-in parking lot where the Harrisons and Chumlee park their personal cars. As we were walking through the warehouse, Rick walked by and stopped to say hello and pose for a picture with us. How cool was that! Cory and Chumlee were also kind enough to stop for a picture and a quick hello. We were also shown the "Old Man's" office and the boys were allowed to sit in his chair. Unfortunately, Richard Sr. was already gone for the day so we weren't able to meet him.
One of our favourite things to do was walk The Strip; people watching and taking in all of the grandeur of the hotels and casinos. We walked for miles and miles every day marvelling at the extravagance of it all. We also toured Hoover Dam, took in a Cirque du Soleil show and visited Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. One day, Trevor and the boys rode the roller coaster at New York New York over and over again while I wandered the shops. The twins were constantly smiling and in awe of it all. It warmed my heart to see the boys so happy and enjoying life in this fantasy land. It truly was the perfect break in the routine of cancer treatments and the monotony of this long, frigid winter. Now summer won't seem so far away and Italy will be right around the corner.
Chemo #13 is scheduled for next Tuesday, April 8th. Justin's second last treatment. The end is so close now I can see it! I can feel the excitement building inside me; looking forward to a summer with no chemo treatments, no central line care to worry about, no more shots to boost neutrophils. I am cautiously optimistic that this is it; the end of living with cancer in our house. That all of these chemo treatments have done their intended job and destroyed every single cancer cell in Justin's body. That he will live a long, healthy life with no short or long-term effects from the chemo. I, and many others, have been praying for these very things for the last nine months. It has to be so.
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