A Dream Come True

It's been a while since I've written.  Things have been going so well.  Things have also been busy and exciting.  We have been blessed once again by the generosity of people. 

A couple of weekends ago, we were sitting around the campfire at the lake playing a game that we sometimes play.  We take turns asking a question which everyone else around the fire has to answer.  Questions like:  If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?  What's your biggest fear?  What's your favourite car?  Stuff like that.  Trevor asked, "If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be?"  Justin didn't even have to think about it.  He answered, "Ondrej Pavelec."  Little did he know it would happen just days later.  In the business he's in, Trevor meets a lot of people.  And as they say, it's all about who you know.

Rob and Carla run the Winnipeg Pet Rescue Shelter.  It is a no-kill shelter.  That in itself shows the hearts of these people.  They have known Trevor for years and we have been to a couple of fundraising galas for their shelter. They also know some of the Jets players and have had a couple of them at their business signing autographs in the past.  Trevor decided to make a phone call and ask for a favour.  They had heard about Justin's diagnosis and were thrilled and eager to make Justin's dream come true.  It was set up rather quickly and we got a call saying that Justin would meet Pavelec the very next week.  Justin, of course, knew nothing about it.  It was so exciting knowing that we were going to surprise him with this.  He would be over the moon!  

On Thursday of last week, I went to the school at lunch time to pick up the twins.  They, of course, asked where we were going.  I told them we were meeting Dad somewhere and nothing else.  When we got to the clover leaf at the perimeter and Portage Avenue, Justin asked if we were going to the Ice Plex.  I asked, "Why would we be going there?"  He told me that the Jets were in training camp.  I replied, "Well, I don't know anything about that." ;) With wonder and excitement building,  we pulled into the parking lot of the MTS Ice Plex.  Disappointment clouded his voice as Justin said, "If I knew we were coming here, I would have brought my jersey!"  I then replied,  "Well then, I guess it's a good thing I brought it!"  We were unsure exactly how this was going to go.  We didn't know if we would all be allowed to meet him or if he would sign anything, but I brought sharpies, Justin's Pavelec jersey and hat, and Ryan's Jets hat just in case. 

Trevor, Rob and Carla met us at the door.  After the boys were introduced to them, Carla asked Justin if he knew what was happening here today.  He said he wasn't really sure, but hoped he could see the Jets practicing.  She grabbed Justin by both hands and explained that they had arranged for him to meet with Ondrej Pavelec after he was done his work out.  With tears in my eyes, I listened to her tell him that they heard about what he was going through and that they wanted to do something really special for him and were glad to have been able to arrange it.  We were soon ushered back to a more private place and awaited Ondrej's arrival.   When he walked toward us, Justin's face lit up.  With a big smile, he walked right up to Ondrej, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. After all of the other introductions were made, he graciously signed both Justin's jersey and hat and also Ryan's hat. We then all gathered around a table and visited with Ondrej.  Though he spoke with all of us, his clear focus was Justin.  What a sight to sit back and watch.  The two of them, sitting head-to-head, chatting like old friends.  Justin had only been to one Jets game and during the warm up, he shot video of Ondrej on his iPod.  He pulled it out and showed Ondrej the video.  Ondrej watched it with a smile on his face, making comments to Justin occasionally as he watched.  I brought one of Justin's bracelets with me, thinking Justin might want to give it to him. When Justin handed it to him and asked if he would wear it, he replied, "Definitely!" and immediately put it on.  At one point Ondrej asked us if we get out to many games.  We told him that we have gone to a few, but never as a family as tickets are hard to come by.  He sat there thoughtfully for a few moments and asked, "Would you come (to Sunday's game) if I get the tickets?"  We were all dumbstruck!  Justin managed a, "Uh, yeah, I would go!"  We all chuckled and said we would definitely work it into our schedule. 

With the arrangements made for the game, it was time to say goodbye.  As he was leaving, he said to Justin, "You're going to wear the jersey and the hat to the game?"  Of course Justin's response was a resounding yes, at which Ondrej smiled and replied, "Good!"  After Ondrej left, a Winnipeg Sun reporter came over and asked if he could ask us some questions.  Once the interview was done, he told us that there would probably be something in the Sun on Friday.  Imagine our surprise when we saw the Sun the next day!  On the front page was a picture of Justin sitting with Pavelec and the headline TRUE HERO.  Inside was a full page story and another large picture.  Suddenly we have a celebrity in our midst!

Last night we went to the game.  Pavelec not only provided 5 tickets to the game but he also gave us passes to join him down by the dressing room after the game.  Unfortunately, they lost but we were very excited when the game was over so we could head down to meet with him again.  We had a wonderful time.  It was so casual, and though I want to say comfortable, there were still nerves visible on both sides.  It was surprising and endearing to see that Ondrej Pavelec, NHL goalie, seemed nervous to be talking with us! We asked him some questions, he asked us some questions and we had some pictures taken with him and the whole family.  It was also very sweet to see that he was wearing Justin's bracelet. 

We are truly blessed.  This may sound strange coming from someone whose son has been stricken with cancer.  We are only two and a half months into this and so much has happened.  We have been at our lowest of lows and highest of highs.  With an initial prognosis that did not sound promising, Justin's cancer has been responding to the chemotherapy phenomenally.  Justin has had some opportunities that he probably wouldn't have had if he had never been diagnosed with cancer.  It touches my heart so much that people want to give whatever they can to bring Justin joy.  And the fact that an NHL goalie went above and beyond to spend quality time with us not once, but twice, means more to us than he'll ever know. So, thank you, Ondrej Pavelec, for giving this mom the opportunity to see her son's dream come true.  You are one classy man.

Watching the video on Justin's iPod

Front page of the Winnipeg Sun - Friday, September 13, 2013

(Notice the blue bracelet on Pavelec's right wrist)

 

After the game on Sunday, September 15, 2013

Changes

Round 4 of chemotherapy is complete and Justin came through it virtually unscathed!  He had no nausea to speak of this time around.  It was amazing!  With school starting in three days, it looks like he will be there for the first day with no ill effects. I met with Justin's teacher a couple of weeks ago to discuss his school year and it will look quite different.  I explained to her that he will be missing quite a bit of school.  She was wonderful and very understanding and accommodating to Justin's situation.  She said that he need not worry about any deadlines or falling behind; his main concern should be his health.  Since she taught Justin last year, she knows his work habits and writing skills. She said she wants to focus mainly on math with him because he will need those concepts in Grade 9 next year.  This took any stress and worry off of Justin's shoulders and he is now looking forward to going back.

This time last year, I was gearing up for my first day back at work after having the summer off.  This year it looks a little different for me as well.  I have decided to take a year-long leave of absence due to Justin's diagnosis.  With his schedule of chemotherapy, possible surgeries, radiation and Cancer Care appointments it just doesn't seem feasible for me to work full time.  After seven years back in the workforce, I am once again a stay-at-home mom.  I can't think of anything more important for me to be doing this year.  I'm a little worried that I may become bored when Justin is well and attending school as normal, but I need to be here if he is feeling too nauseous to go to school or in the event that he becomes ill.  The chemo knocks out his defences when it kills his healthy blood cells along with the cancer cells.  Thus, he is vulnerable to infection.  There will be times when he is unable to go to school just based on that alone.  It's all about his 'counts'. 

So, this is a year of changes.  They say change is good.  I'm not sure I would call any of this good, but it is what it is and we do what we have to do.  And I have to, no - want to be here for my family. ♥

Reflections

As I sit here in the quiet solitude of a Monday morning at our campsite, with summer drawing to a close, I reflect upon the summer that should have been and the summer that was.  Being an EA (educational assistant) and having the summer off, the plan was for the twins and I to spend the entire summer at our seasonal campsite at West Hawk Lake.  That plan changed and became spending whatever time we could at the lake between Justin's treatments, when he was feeling up to it.  It's hard to believe that Justin is going in for his 4th chemotherapy treatment on Friday.  It's hard to believe that the kids will be going back to school next week.

Summer goes by so fast at the best of times.  When you're out having fun with your family and friends; living the easy, laid-back life it seems to fly by in the blink of an eye.  It seems it also flies by amid chemotherapy treatments,  CT scans, blood transfusions, hospital stays and Cancer Care appointments.  I sometimes wonder how my life became this...that one pivotal moment in time derailed my course and spun me off into a new direction that I never, ever, thought I would be going in.  I imagine seeing my life as a road map in God's hand.  He was looking at it and saying, "Hang on, Trish, it's going to get bumpy here just around this bend."

I've never seen myself as a particularly strong person.  It's surprising what you can find within yourself when forced to.  Two months ago, I didn't know I had it; didn't even know where to find it.  Getting that kind of news can crush you.  Its almost suffocating.  But then you pick yourself up because you have to.  Justin needed me.  All of the fear and anguish I was feeling, he was feeling.  So I had to dig deep and find that inner strength to be brave for Justin.  It was my job to support and encourage him, so I did.  I do.  Over time, after the initial shock wears off, life goes on.  Sure, it's not the life we had planned but it's life just the same.

Life.  And where there is life, there is hope.  Hope of a bright future for all of us.  And the future begins now.

And We Will Roar!

I just got off the phone with a friend from work.  It had been a long time since we connected.  In  early June, she had to take a medical leave from work to have surgery for Crohn's Disease.  A couple of weeks after that, we began our journey with Justin's diagnosis. 

 It's almost like we have been living parallel lives in some ways.  She, coming to terms with the fact that she now has an ileostomy bag and the changes that brings to her life; and we, dealing with the fact that our child has cancer and how that effects our family.  How quickly we become wrapped up in our own worlds when something like this touches our lives. We all deal with things differently, but in talking with my friend, I realize that there are also many similarities in our situations.  We spoke of sort of keeping to ourselves.  Not reaching out to people for whatever reason; whether it be shame, fear or just sheer exhaustion and not wanting to talk to anyone.  We needed time to just get our heads around what our lives have become. We dwell in our own pain, sure that no one would ever really understand what we are going through.  But the truth is, there are people who understand.  It might not look exactly the same but the emotional and physical pain that one feels going through Crohn's or dealing with a loved one's cancer are kindred, and in talking we found a common bond.  We have both found some sort of acceptance of what we have been dealt.  We will go through all of this because we have no choice.  We will be strong and victorious.  And when it's all said and done, we will roar!

 It's certainly not what we would have chosen for our lives.  We wouldn't wish it upon anyone.  But it is what has been handed to us and we will make it through this.   One step at a time.  And by God's grace, come out stronger for having been through it.  Thanks for the talk, my friend.  Let the roaring begin! ♥

The Power of Prayer

We got the best possible news today at Justin's pre-chemo appointment.  The radiologist's report from yesterday's CT scan showed that the tumour has shrunk about 70% and it has shrunk away from his spinal column!  Also, Justin had several nodules present in both lungs on his last scan and they are now GONE!!!  The doctor showed us the pictures of the scan and it is amazing.  On the first one, you could barely see his left lung because the tumour was pushing so far into the lung cavity and now the tumour is just a small spot at the bottom of the picture.  The doctor said that after only 2 courses of chemotherapy that this is exceptional.  I have to confess that I haven't always believed in the power of prayer.  I have prayed for many things over the years with no apparent answer.  Maybe the things I have been asking for haven't been big enough; important enough.  Or maybe God did answer them, but it just wasn't the answer I wanted.  With this news, I can't see any other way around it.  I am convinced that this is a direct answer to prayer.  There have been so many people praying for this result.  Matthew 18:19 says, "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven."  There have definitely been enough people asking God for this.  I am so thankful that I have this hope and now this increased faith.  How horrible it must be for people to go through this kind of thing with nothing to hold onto.  I can't even imagine.  I have felt despair and fear throughout this journey, but I cried out to God to help us through this and heal my son.  He has heard this prayer over and over again from many, many people and He is listening.  He is responding.  He is good.

Birthday Blessings

Today is the twins' birthday.  Thirteen years old!  What better way to spend your 13th birthday than getting a CT scan, right?  It was all fine and good until we got there and realized they had to put in an IV to inject the contrast medium.  We assumed they would put it in the central line, but no.  Justin was NOT happy!  Anyway, the scan was performed and we were on our way out to our favourite little hot dog cart outside of Cancer Care.  We have gotten to know Kevin, the Champion Dog owner, quite well over the past month and a half.  A very sweet man who knows our names, what we usually order and our story.  When he found out it was the twins' birthday today, he insisted that lunch was on him.

 Next stop was Sweet Impressions to pick up the birthday cake.  Once back in La Salle, I went to Jeni's (our local grocery/hardware store) to pick up some more fireworks for tonight's birthday celebration.  Justin had received a box of fireworks from the owners of Jeni's via the VICTORIOUS Box a while back.  It was decided then that they would be lit up on the night of their 13th birthday.  I was standing there with a box of various fireworks in my hand, with a perplexed look on my face as I was trying to decide what the heck I was looking at!  The owner, Tom, saw me and came over to chat.  He asked how we were doing, as he hadn't really talked to us since he heard the news about Justin.  I explained that things were very up and down and that he probably understood how that goes because his sister-in-law was diagnosed with cancer fairly recently and is going through chemotherapy too.  I told him it was the twins' birthday and that we were going to use the fireworks that they had given to Justin, and I was looking for a few more to go along with them.  He took the box out of my hands and said, "Here, let me help you out."  He put the pre-packaged box away and dove into the cage of individual fireworks and started pulling out fireworks one-by-one and piling them into a box.  He said, "I want to do this for you. Anything that might make things better, even for a little while."  I stood there, with tears in my eyes, as he loaded the box into my car.  I know I keep saying it, but it's so true; people continually amaze me with their compassion and generosity.

The best birthday present for Justin!

We got a call from the oncologist this afternoon with preliminary results from the CT scan and the tumor appears to have shrunk 60-70%!  Praise God!

Carrying on with the treatments

Knowing that we are being admitted tomorrow for the next round of chemo has been weighing heavily on my heart.  I'm anticipating the raw emotional roller coaster that is chemotherapy.  I'm hoping that Justin can remember that it is working and that it's worth it while he's in the midst of it.  But, for tonight, we will put that aside and celebrate the two young men who are just entering the time of their lives when things change so fast and emotions are high at the best of times.  We will celebrate with our friends who have become even more important recently.  We will eat, laugh and maybe even shed a tear as we reminisce about the good times we have had growing these two to teenagers.  And we will end the night off with a bang! And forget, for a little while, what awaits us tomorrow.

Another step in the ever-winding road

Back from another great weekend at the lake and gearing up for a busy week ahead.  This afternoon, Justin has another appointment at Cancer Care.  After last week's mishap, the doctor decided that even though Justin's neutrophil counts were good on Friday he wanted him to keep taking the GCSF shots until after the weekend.  The hope is that we will be told today to stop them.  Apparently while these shots boost the neutrophil counts, they can cause the hemoglobin and platelets to drop.  Hopefully, he won't need any transfusions and we can begin chemo on Friday without incident.  We also found out on Friday that Justin will be having a CT scan on Thursday morning.  There is no plan to do anything about it at this point, I guess it's just a marker to see how the tumor is reacting after two courses of chemotherapy.  The plan is after six courses, they decide to either try surgically removing what they safely can or radiate at that point.  He would then undergo his remaining 8 or so courses of chemo afterward.  We are going into the third course of chemo on Friday.

Time Marches On

In the midst of all this chaos that has taken over our lives, we will stop and take some time to celebrate because this week Justin and Ryan turn 13!  On August 8th, I will officially have a house full of teenagers.  I'm not too sure how I feel about that!  The twins are going into their final year of middle years and Brennan is done high school and working at a job that is starting his 'grown up' career! Where has the time gone?  I remember the days when the twins were still in cribs, sharing a room.  I would walk into the room after their nap to find them babbling to each other with smiles on their faces or passing toys between cribs.  And years later, when they had bunk beds, telling them to be quiet and go to sleep because they would talk late into the night. They were best buds.  Now, with their own rooms and teenage temperaments, things are so different.  The brotherly bond is still there when push comes to shove, but they are struggling to pull away from their combined 'twin identity' and forge ones of their own.  They have always been so very different, but these differences are truly becoming more evident the older they get. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing, but it's hard for a mother to see her little boys growing up and 'apart'.  They have always been the twins; a set, a unit.  I guess it's my fault for putting them in that box.  Now they want out of it.  So, I will let them.  Be your own man, because that's what you are becoming.  Young men.  Going through things that require so much strength and maturity because that's what life has thrown at you.  At all of us.  Be the men that I know you can be. But just know that you'll always be my little boys. ♥