Reflections

As I sit here in the quiet solitude of a Monday morning at our campsite, with summer drawing to a close, I reflect upon the summer that should have been and the summer that was.  Being an EA (educational assistant) and having the summer off, the plan was for the twins and I to spend the entire summer at our seasonal campsite at West Hawk Lake.  That plan changed and became spending whatever time we could at the lake between Justin's treatments, when he was feeling up to it.  It's hard to believe that Justin is going in for his 4th chemotherapy treatment on Friday.  It's hard to believe that the kids will be going back to school next week.

Summer goes by so fast at the best of times.  When you're out having fun with your family and friends; living the easy, laid-back life it seems to fly by in the blink of an eye.  It seems it also flies by amid chemotherapy treatments,  CT scans, blood transfusions, hospital stays and Cancer Care appointments.  I sometimes wonder how my life became this...that one pivotal moment in time derailed my course and spun me off into a new direction that I never, ever, thought I would be going in.  I imagine seeing my life as a road map in God's hand.  He was looking at it and saying, "Hang on, Trish, it's going to get bumpy here just around this bend."

I've never seen myself as a particularly strong person.  It's surprising what you can find within yourself when forced to.  Two months ago, I didn't know I had it; didn't even know where to find it.  Getting that kind of news can crush you.  Its almost suffocating.  But then you pick yourself up because you have to.  Justin needed me.  All of the fear and anguish I was feeling, he was feeling.  So I had to dig deep and find that inner strength to be brave for Justin.  It was my job to support and encourage him, so I did.  I do.  Over time, after the initial shock wears off, life goes on.  Sure, it's not the life we had planned but it's life just the same.

Life.  And where there is life, there is hope.  Hope of a bright future for all of us.  And the future begins now.